I Was So Ashamed and Embarrassed

Wow, you so related to my tale of shame, embarrassment and self disgust when processed carbs had me under their control.

You knew exactly what I meant when I said that those toxic carbs (movie popcorn, corn snacks and other chips) cast a spell on me.

You, too, have felt Crazy Cravings™, which have led you, too, to do so much Heartbreak Bingeing™ that you gained a lot of weight quickly.

A little history is in order. Recently, I confessed to the thousands of people on my mailing list, which you, too, can join that back in late 2012 to mid-2013 after the death of my Mom and the grueling last year with her, during which my cancer-ridden mother inadvertently angrily abused, belittled and betrayed me, I mindlessly rushed to nutrient-poor quickie carbs. Months later, I’d gained 21 pounds.

At last, four-plus years later, I have the courage to easily confess to my extended Carb Relapse without shedding a tear, getting choked up or feeling mortified. I’m now vulnerably but confidently confessing that for some six months after Mom left this earth that I mindlessly, powerlessly shoveled processed carbs into my mouth with an irrational fury and velocity and completely blew my diet.

After coming back from an awesome Tony Robbins mastermind, I felt moved to write to the confessed to my list.

Read some comments I received from people who felt fed up with having sugar or carb relapses. I’m only using first names to protect the people, who’ve slipped with sugar or carbs.

One email was more poignant than the next. Linda wrote:

Hello Connie,

Thank you for being truthful and honest with your readers. 

I have been on a detox diet, lost a bunch of weight and am now trying to figure out my new eating.

Unfortunately, I am a sucker for free food. 

Yesterday I was at a wine tasting fundraiser and overate because there was food that I hadn’t had in a long time and “wouldn’t be able to eat again.” Tonight I went to a networking event and the same thing happened. 

You would think I lived in a 3rd world country with no access to good food. (Note from Connie: My emphasis.)

FOMO, feeling deprived, feeling like I deserved it……., all feelings that I didn’t know how to handle.

I’m terribly afraid that my hard work will be undone. This all or nothing thinking has got to go!

Would love to hear how you got back on track. Thank you!

Cindy was so upset that she shared:

15 lbs. in two years!  So hard to take off but so easy to put back on!  Don’t feel comfortable in my clothes.

Carla also wanted to Bounce Back after Relapse™.

I too have relapse[d] in my sugar, carbs, and nasty processed foods.  I too need a clean rebound.  I look forward to learn more from you and your staff.

I also heard from a woman in Paris, France, whose subject heading was “Out of control.”

I’VE been binge eating for about 5 or more days…chocolate, popcorn, bread and butter…anything sweet that I can get my hands on.

I feel guilty, weak, fat, ugly, unworthy… I’m just out of control and can’t get it back… I feel desperate and don’t know what to do ..I want to stop but I just can’t.

And Pat also wrote, calling herself a Rebounder and Relapser.

Hi Connie,

Gosh your story sounds a lot like mine.  How have I gotten so far off course?

And of course it shows in my blood work and such as well.

I just feel fat, old and ugly.

Thanks for your email.  It is good to know that I am not alone.

Sincerely, Pat

And I heard from Lisa, a fellow coach.

Hi Connie,

You’re an inspiration. I was moved by your email!



Here’s the initial email I wrote to my list. 


Hi L,


I was so ashamed, embarrassed and angry at myself. 


To a large degree, my eating had gotten out of control. 


Carbage (carb garbage, as I call those processed chips, crackers and popcorn) kept calling out to me. 


Without knowing how it happened, I kept bingeing and bingeing. 


Within a few months, 21 pounds quickly piled on. 


It’s time for me to come clean with you. 


You see, although I’m happily celebrating 20 Years off Sugar this year, I have not eaten cleanly this whole time. 


In late 2012 to mid-2013, after the death of my mother, I had a massive Carb Relapse. 


For months, I kept doing what I now call Heartbreak Bingeing, which is far more intense than garden-variety emotional eating. 


For months, following My Bittersweet Last Year with Mom — a grueling time during which my dying mother often angrily abused, belittled and denigrated me — I caved into dangerous, processed carbs (popcorn, onion rings, corn nuggets, etc.) 


Worse still, for months, I descended into depression, despair, and even self-pity. 


And I was really angry at myself! 


Oh did I feel huge shame, too! How could I, the Sweet Sugar Freedom Coach and author of the bestselling books, Sugar Shock and Beyond Sugar Shock, have let myself sink so low? 


Sure, I wasn’t eating sugar, but who was I fooling? 


Anyhow, in this my 20 Years off Sugar Celebration, I want to be transparent with you. 


I want you to know that I have NOT been perfect that entire time. 


But I did bounce back, and now I’m happy to report that I’ve eaten cleanly for more than four years. 


Now, because of my tough time years ago, I’m here to bring you hope. 


And I’m here to help you, too, Rebound after Relapse™, which is, coincidentally the working title for my next book. 


So I’m writing this week’s Motivating Monday Message to encourage you and to let you know that you can get back on track when you’ve blown your diet. 


Have you blown your diet recently? 


Has your new year’s resolution bit the dust? 


Are you furious at yourself for being so “weak”? 


Stay tuned, I’m planning exciting things to help you, too, Rebound after Relapse™. 




Connie Bennett

The Rebound-After-Relapse 

Ninja Coach™ 


P.S. Have you, too, either recently or long-ago blown your diet? Let me know.  If you’re among the first to reply this week, I’ll spend 45 minutes with you via phone or Zoom to help you get back on track and shed the weight you yearn to lose for good. To get your Sweet Freedom Strategy Session, Just reply to xxx or xxx. 


Because of spam trollers, I’ve taken out my assistant’s and my email address, but feel free to reply here.