Chuckle! Meet “Connie, The Sugar Shrew” of 1998!

Good morning. For those of you struggling with what seems like an overwhelming sugar addiction, I’d like to amuse you by letting you laugh at me.

That’s right. Go ahead, have some fun! Meet "Connie, the Sugar Shrew!" — No More! that is!

I’m inviting you into my weird world (that once was) so you’ll be privvy to a few off-putting actions of this unsavory Connie chick — ugh, me 7-plus years ago.

Laugh at Your Silly Behavior

Now that you can see how I get glee from poking fun of myself, I have a few quick pointers for those of you feeling ensnared by a sugar or quickie-carb habit:

• Laugh at yourself!
• See the absurdity and silliness of your sugar shenanigans!
• Look at yourself as if you were a "lab rat." That means you just view yourself from outside yoiur body. By doing this, you’ll get a microscopic view of how "crazy" you sometimes behave when it comes to sweets and quickie carbs.
• Marvel and smile at the ridiculous lengths to which you sometimes go for your "sugar fix."

Seriously, if you’re one of those folks whose day (at least partly) revolves around candies, cookies, and chips, you can gain so much (and I don’t mean weight) by seeing yourself with a more playful, mischievous, lighthearted attitude.

Uh-Oh. The Off-the-Wall Things I Used To Do

Obviously I can relate to those of you who feel trapped by a sugar habit. Not something about which I’m proud. At one point, I was utterly mortified — but just regularlly succumbed to thos processed sweets, that beckoned me regularly. I mean I would:

• Hop in my car and drive across town — taking the 15-minute journey from Brentwood to Beverly Hills, if you know L.A. — just to buy these special, low-calorie, sugar-packed candies.
• Surreptitiously sit in the parking lot of a grocery store just to eat a handful of red licorice before going over to my boyfriend Mark’s house for our evening date. (You’ll learn later about the sad results of those sugary splurges.)
• Take an excursion to Santa Monica — this time, only about 10 minutes, plus a half-hour of wait in line — to get these gourmet light molasses chips from my favorite specialty chocolate store. (While I did exercise "portion control" by buying only a few of these "goodies" at the time, I was hooked nonetheless.)

Talk about a waste of valuable time!

No, this Sugar Addict Wasn’t Fat

Sure, I wasn’t obese or even overweight — as peoople often ask me (unless you count those five unwanted, lingering pounds, which did disapear when I got off the sweet "goodies") — but, slim or not, I would do some strange things just to pursue my big passion — candies. (Hey, they would entice me more than good-looking, single men! No fooling!)

Oh wait, to be accurate, it wasn’t just sucrose that hooked me — I was into foods brimming with high fructose corn syrup, honey, barley malt, any and every kind of sweetener you can imagine.

That was really weird, don’t you think? Who was this Connie creature? Certainly not I!

How the "Connie Cartoons" Came Into Being

Let me tell you how the Connie cartoons were born. Back in 1998, I quit sweets and processed carbs. It wasn’t my idea: My new doctor (Dr. Keith DeOrio in Santa Monica) diagnosed hypoglycemia or low blood sugar and adamantly "prescribed" that I stop eating all my favorite "goodies."

While quitting (or thinking about it), I read everything I could find about the subject. As I became sugarfree, the fog lifted from my brain. In other words, I could think straight.

Three-plus years later, in August 2001, I began my book (SUGAR SHOCK!) in earnest and I launched into serious reporting mode.

But, all along, I’d take delight — and enable myself to distance from my previous life — by playfully poking fun of the Connie that once was.

So, I thought, "You know, why don’t I just find someone to help me make people chuckle at this sugar-obsessed Connie chick?" 

Remembering to wear my hair curly that day, I took a train ride to northern Westchester County — I’d moved to New York by this time — to meet with the talented, suitably playful artist Rose Petruzzi.

Rose came to me, courtesy of the Peter Weber, the creative graphic artist who designed my website, SugarShock.com. (Hope you like his work.)

Anyhow, now — I invite you, I urge you, I exhort you — chuckle at the cartoons that mock "Connie, the Sugar Shrew!"

In fact, I’d love for you to tell me what you think of them!

And if you happen to have a cartoon you’d like posted on my website, submit it here for consideration, as Leila Armush and Kevin Messer did.

(Incidentally, Leila — who had fun making a cartoon due to her cookie-eating habit — is the young woman who inspired me to form my free KickSugar support group back in November 2002. To Leila I’ll always be grateful, because as of today, we have 721 members — I and our wonderful KickSugar assistant moderators Myra and Ruth must be doing something right — at least, I hope so. (Feel free to join us!)

I’ll leave you with one final thought. Remember, if you can take something serious, twist it around a bit, and approach it with a fun, adventurous attitude, your life will be soooo much sweeter. You’ll certainly stand a better chance of kicking your habit!

And, if you quit (or at least cut back on) sweets and simple carbs, you’ll find, as I have — I’m convinced — that you can Enjoy a Sweeter Life Without Refined Sweets(TM).