You’re getting the following item from my blogging assistant Jennifer Moore. (I’m simply too busy today to post something myself.)
The New York Times ran an article about school districts that send to parents “obesity report cards” stating their child’s body mass index in a well-meaning attempt to get parents to wake up to the dangers of childhood obesity.
Since I’m a parent, I began this article with a great deal of sympathy toward those who were angry and confused about these BMI reports. Some parents said these report cards caused their kids to obsess over food, even when their BMIs fell within normal range.
Then the eye-opening article by Times reporter Jodi Kantor rightly points out the utter ridiculousness of telling parents that their kids are fat or at risk of being so, while still plying them with sugary, high-calorie junk like funnel cake and Rice Krispie treats at school.
What’s more, the schools should have been smart enough to mail their BMI figures directly to the parents rather than giving them to the children along with their academic report cards. (The story of a 6-year-old so distressed that she’s basically put herself on a diet, despite the fact that her BMI score showed that her weight was fine, is heartbreaking.)
I am particularly sensitive to this issue as a mother to a daughter. The last thing I want is for her to think she’s not beautiful or worthy or special because she doesn’t wear a size 0 like models and movie stars.
But then, this quote from Holly Berguson, the homecoming queen at North Penn Junior-Senior High School [in north central Pennsylvania], hit me like a ton of bricks. Holly wears a size 20, a fact cited by her many admirers as proof of this community’s generous attitude toward weight and its proud indifference to the “Baywatch” bodies on television.
“I don’t care how big I am,” said Holly, 17, who is insulin resistant, a condition that often precedes Type 2 diabetes.
“It’s not what you look like, it’s who you are.”
I think this society focuses way, way too much on appearance, particularly for girls and women. And I certainly don’t want Holly Berguson or any other overweight child to feel bad about herself because of her weight.
But if this girl truly loved herself as she wants us to think, she would care about how big she is, because she’s well on her way to developing diabetes at the tender age of 17, likely due to the fact that she’s too heavy.
Showing “indifference to the ‘Baywatch’ bodies on television” is one thing. Showing indifference to possibly contracting an incurable, potentially crippling and life-threatening disease is quite another.
If BMI report cards sound the alarm for the parents of one kid like Holly Berguson, maybe the confusion and embarrassment will be well worth it. I don’t want any child’s self-esteem to suffer. But I don’t want there to be any more insulin-resistant teenagers, either.
Jennifer Moore
Note from Connie: This Times article from is a must read. have mixed feelings about BMI reports being given to parents or even their kids. Isn’t it obvious if a kid is overweight? You certainly don’t need to measure them to find that out! It also can be quite humiliating for a poor kid, and it sure sounds like these "report cards" are sending some kids into eating-disorder danger.
Frankly, I think that rather than embarrassing these kids and their parents with confusing BMI scores, it’s best to:
- Feed them better — at home and at school. Get rid of that sugary, fatty junk!
- Educate them! (Get some good teachers and bring in some knowledgeable experts. (Hey, I’ll volunteer to go into schools to tell them about the tragedies that await them if they keep eating all that junk food.)
One thought on “Desperate Times, Desperate Measures: Schools Tell Parents Their Kids are Too Heavy—But Should They?”
I work with parents to help them understand and implement strategies to increase, inspire, and maintain their children’s natural high self esteem. It really boils me up when I hear about such atrocities as BMI report cards. With our culture based so heavily on appearance many factors regarding weight get over looked. I can imagine that BMI cards will have a result of creating more eating disorders than actually creating any positive effect.
First, I see that children and parents who are within normal ranges will now become obsessed with how they come out on these scales. Children who are obsessed with eating small amounts and what they look like develop needs based on the approval of others. When this develops children loose their ability to have a high SELF esteem. You see self is the indicator in this term. And these children learn to have other esteem. Their esteem is based on the ideas and approval of others. With this comes the total down fall of the child. Happiness is out the door because no matter how hard you try or how perfect you seem to the outside world these other esteem dependant people “know” they are not perfect. Of course no one is perfect, so the real object is not perfection of the outcome or product- in this case the size of the child-but the process of how to be one’s best.
My second issue with BMI cards is that there are plenty of children who will go through stages of being over the normal range for their age and height. Being the mother of 4 children and a step daughter and working directly with hundrends of children I have seen many a plump kid become a “perfectly” sized teenager. These kids often spend their childhoods being teased and bullied about their size. Having parents always be on the anxious loook out for wieght problems, but never really understanding how development works, how healthy eating works, and they just let their children get older by getting older. Lots of these kids become obsessed with other esteem and loose their opportuity to have inner peace.
Then there is the naturally skinny kid. This kid never has a weight problem and flouts this about to others. This is another kind of other esteem. If someone needs to flout and brag about their accomplishments or body size, they are again other esteem dependant. And with these kids there is often a thought of no need to worry or educate them becasue they are just fine. Haven’t you ever seen a skiny kid grow into a fat teenager? It is very common. So what happpens to these poor kids? Since they have other esteem rather than self esteem to begin with they are in real deep trouble.
They become overly conerned and absessed with their bodies. Of course the mass media just loves this as it is a wonderful way to get people hooked on the buy, buy, buy plan. If you buy all the stuff you can you will be a better person even if you are fat, unhappy and have diabetes.
This leads me to my third problem with BMI report cards. There is no place with these cards that gives either the parent or the child the pportunity to learn. They are simply shame cards in a most public manner. If you are interested in understanding how to help your child eat better and be a healthier person then definately read and learn all you can about healthy eating. And starting with Sugar Shock. It is a wonderful place to start.
The second thing is to learn how to protect your child from ALL the mass media tricks to that are proven to hook your child and you into believeing you are inadequate if you don’t measure up to the outside standards. You and your child never will. You have to take the proactive stance and learn to look to yourself for your NATURAL SELF ESTEEM and teach your child the same. To connect about self esteem issues check out gemparenting.com or contact grace@gempareting.com. And remember to enjoy this most wonderful day which is a gift of llife.
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