A “Dear John letter” to Sugar: “The Truth Will Set You (Sugar-)Free – Guest Column by Amanda Lerner

Like me, Amanda Lerner, a fellow graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, has had a turbulent relationship with sugar. Amanda, who I saw last night at a cool dinner for a group of about 10 of us who went to IIN together, wrote this incredibly poignant, revealing, beautiful poem/letter that I just had to run here for you. Isn’t this wonderful and oh-so-clever?

Amanda’s "Dear John letter" to Sugar originally ran in BeautyNewsNYC.com as part 3 of 3 of her "Diary of a Sugar Addict — Bon-Bon Voyage."

Dear Sugar,

You’ve been my best friend, my lover, and my savior. You’ve lifted me up and you’ve let me down. You’ve been fake and you’ve been pure. You’ve been rich and you’ve been nutty.

It was love at first bite. I was five. You were blonde. It was summer camp in Montauk. My parents were health nuts. They never let me near your type. I knew it was wrong but I was a rebel. I needed a taste. My eyes widened with devilish greed, as you quickly became a part of me. With my arms spread wide, I spun ‘round and ‘round, smiling from ear to ear. I’ve been trying all my life to recreate that Twinkie feeling. You were my first love.

You were always there when I needed you – when Dad got remarried, when my high-school sweetheart told me he needed space, when Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, when I got fired from my big sales job, when Mary found a new best friend.

There were good times, too: Birthday cakes and wedding favors, Halloween treats and Hanukkah Gelt.

But it was never enough.

Thirty years later and the only thing that’s spinning is my internal hamster wheel. I’m sick of it all. The weight gain, the zits, the tears, the broken promises, the mood swings. The spoon scraping the bottom of a pint of ice cream, searching for MORE. More of what you could never give me.

My friends and family warned me. They told me to stay away, that I was different when you were around. But I defended you. I told them I could count on you, that we never had any problems. I lied. To them and myself. You played right into my feelings. You promised to make it all better and I listened. I knew you were no good but I had no control and I let you hold me back.

Did you ever see me after a bad night with you? Of course not. You never stuck around for the crash. You have no idea how much you’ve hurt me.

Well, I’ve had it. We cannot be together anymore. Don’t whisper sweet nothings into my ear. I won’t be listening. I’m going on a journey and have decided not to bring you along. Please don’t keep in touch. It’s just too painful.

So, goodbye Sugar. I’m moving on! Go peddle your sweet promises elsewhere. I’m done with you forever.

Amanda Lerner is a New York City-based certified holistic health counselor. She runs Amanda Lerner Health Counseling.