Enjoy this funny take on Life Under Quarantine.
- Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
- I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.
- I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
- I still haven’t decided where to go for Easter [or Passover] —– The Living Room or The Bedroom.
- PSA: Every few days, try on your jeans just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
- Homeschooling is going well: 2 students were suspended for fighting and 1 teacher was fired for drinking on the job.
- I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.
- This morning, I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….. we laughed a lot.
- So, after this quarantine…..will the producers of “My 600-lb Life” just find me or do I find them?
- Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
- My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.
- Day 15 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
- I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
- I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.
- Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
- Day 16 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.
- Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.
Note from Connie: Please help me track down this author so I can give him or her credit! I first saw this in a Lyme support group, where Robert Morgenstern shared it. He, in turn, received it from friend Bob Lasser. If you wrote this funny poem or you know the person, who wrote this, please contact me ASAP so I can give you credit.
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