It’s perhaps one of the easiest ways to shed stress and Crush Your Cravings. Plus, you can even hide out when you’re doing it and no one will “eavesdrop” on your goings-on.
This one simple stress-cutting tactic is to cry.
There’s one problem though. Although shedding tears is important to our well-being — learn 7 ways how here, in this week’s Cravings-Crushing Monday post — many people still think that if you do so in public or in front of a loved one, you’re being manipulative, over-indulgent, or undignified.
Or, if you let people see you sob, they may brand you as emotionally weak, mentally unstable and un-together.
These crying naysayers are wrong.
I encourage you: Have a good cry. But before you sob and wail, you need to know how to deal with people around you, especially those who don’t know the tremendous value of a good cry.
You know — those judgmental, meddlesome, embarassed or over-concerned passersby?
I’m here with crying solutions for you. Here are 7 Ways to Face People When You Cry.
- Do not be embarrassed. Remember, you’re smarter than non-criers, who bottle up their emotions, aren’t in tune with their feelings, and may do self-destructive boozing, gambling, pigging out or what I call Heartbreak Bingeing™.
- Cry in private. Depending on where you are, the best place to get upset is when you’re alone. Try the restroom, stairway, end of the car, or your own home, far from inquiring friends, loved ones, colleagues or annoying passersby. While alone in your private space, you can wail all you want while you face your over-the-top emotions. Now, if you’re at a conference, as happened with me several times recently, just get away ASAP from the main proceedings and fellow attendees so you can privately face, learn from and then rise above your pain.
- Crying now means less cravings later. Remember that by shedding tears, you’re relieving stress; letting to of your grief or trauma; and feelings of anger, fear, remorse, etc. When you really experience your strong, uncomfortable emotions. you’re less likely to crave and mindlessly gobble nutrient-poor snacks.
- Know that you’re okay. Remind yourself that it’s perfectly fine to cry. In fact, what you’re doing is really healthy. You’re simply purging your pain by doing something you’re wired to do.
- Decide what to do if someone sees you cry. Everyone has different ways of dealing with those people, who catch you in the act of crying. For my part, when I sob, I want to be left alone. In that moment, I’m not okay, because I need to feel the pain to get beyond it. So I don’t want to be asked, “Are you okay?” But find me an hour later, and I’ll probably feel exhilarated, joyful and excited about life. So here’s the best way, I’ve found, to encourage people to leave you alone. Just say, “I’ll be fine soon, but right now, I need to to be alone and have a good cry.” Your simple statement will make” others give you the space you need.
- Gracefully accept sympathy. Bear in mind that when people see you cry, most want to help and make you feel better. Or maybe your crying makes them feel very uncomfortable. Give these observers a break. Be gracious. Simply say, “thank you” while you accept a tissue, a hand on the shoulder or a pat on the back from a well-meaning loved one or observer. (Admittedly, I haven’t always followed this advice. For instance, once, a few months Mom died, I was howling and wailing while alone, I thought, in my parked car, when another concerned, parked driver, who I hadn’t seen before, bothered me with “Are you okay?” I won’t share my ungracious reply.)
- Let your friends and loved ones know that you cry. If you think you may cry during a movie, lecture or activity, alert others ahead of them. Just say, “By the way, I’m a crier, and I thought you should know. But you don’t need to do anything. Just let me gush.”
So join me: Let your tears flow to become happier, calmer, and more productive.
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