Forgiveness has been on my mind quite a bit lately because of the arrival of the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kipppur.
But forgiveness is really something important for people of all religions.
Which is why I invite you to join me on a forgiveness quest and project this week: That’s right. I urge you to forgive both yourself and other people who have wronged you, either deliberately or unintentionally.
Anyhow, quite coincidentally, this morning — after a sleepless night — I received an absolutely wonderful e-mail from the inspiring motivational speaker and coach Lisa Nichols, entitled "The Power of Forgiveness."
Lisa, as many of you probably already know, is one of those remarkable people featured in the the # 1 smash hit Law-of-Attraction video, "The Secret," and the blockbuster motivational book, The Secret.
She also made a dazzling appearance on "The Oprah Show."
I’ve been on her mailing list since hearing her give an amazing talk a couple of months ago at the Learning Annex in New York City.
Well, as serendipity would have it, Lisa had forgiveness on her mind, too, and this made me realize without a shadow of doubt that I needed to blog about this topic to help you, my dear readers.
You see, I confess — reluctantly, with embarrassment — my inability to get sufficient ‘z’s last night had to do
with the fact that apparently, I had not yet fully forgiven either
someone or myself who, up until four months ago, had once been very special to me.
Somehow, yesterday, in the process of reconnecting to be
nice (allegedly) and do the final letting go with this person, I also dredged up
stuff from the past. Talk about a pointless, stupid thing to do! (Yes,
I’ve conquered my sugar habit, but I’m nowhere near perfect!)
Anyhow, all I can suspect is that my unnecessary remarks via e-mail
may have been brought on because I waited too long for breakfast (and
was thinking fuzzily), because I was still reeling from my nightmare
(where people with guns were trying to kill me!) or because I still
needed to do more forgiveness work. (Clearly, that’s the more likely
possibility.) Suffice it to say that yesterday, I absolutely hated what I’d done and felt really miserable about it.
And so yesterday, it became clear that I needed to really rev up my forgiveness activities. And that I needed to atone for what I’d done. (Which is almost ironic, because the Jewish holidays are all about atoning for your sins against others, against yourself and against God.)
So then, this morning, after being absolutely aghast at what I’d
written, Lisa came to the rescue by encouraging me and her thousands of
other readers (You can join her mailing list, too.):
She urged us: "Set yourself free… with a little forgiveness."
Lisa — a teacher of the Law of Attraction —
wisely wrote: "When you hold onto anger or resentment toward someone
who may have hurt you in the past, it’s a lot harder to grab a hold of
something new."
Isn’t that insightful?
Lisa continues, owning up to her not having forgiven someone either,
which certainly made me feel at least somewhat better. (And her
admission gave me the courage to post this blog item.)
"Believe me, I know," Lisa wrote. "At one point in my life I had decided I
could never forgive a man who had been my fiancé. He had emotionally
abused me… and then he physically abused me."
But I just didn’t have as good as an excuse for hanging on like Lisa
did. My former special man had never physically abused me. Besides, his
emotional abuse had been quite unintentional. What’s more, I need to
accept responsibility for letting him not treat me with the dignity and
respect that I deserve.
Lisa encouraged me some more. She goes on to own up to the fact that despite the fact she was "a motivational speaker, full of energy and facilitating workshops," she still "held onto that anger and resentment in that
one corner of [her] heart."
"Then," Lisa admits, "a colleague
told me something so powerful… You’ve probably heard it before: `Staying angry at someone is like drinking
poison and hoping that other person dies.`"
That remark hit me hard. What a way to look at this!
After other valuable insights, Lisa then observes: "But forgiveness wasn’t about setting him
free. It had everything to do with setting me free. Forgiveness was
simply about freeing up that space in my heart so I could receive more
love and goodness in my life."
Lisa later invites you, as I invite you now: "Is there an opportunity for
you to forgive someone?
"If you’re holding onto anger, resentment, or hurt, I invite you now to let that go of it so that something far, far
more amazing, far more awesome, far more wonderful and fulfilling can
fill your heart."
To also get fabulous e-mails from Lisa Nichols, just go to her website now.
Look for another post here later on how to forgive.